Tag Archives: alcoholism

Ways To Live A Sober Life

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When people have been drinking alcohol for many years as I have, we tend to forget how it actually feels to be sober.  We sometimes put our addiction before anything.   Some of us even put it in front of our own families and love ones.

We live in a world of make believe and like the feeling that we get when using our drug of choice.   All of us deep down inside would love to give up alcohol but, we are so addicted to our drug that it seems impossible for us to quit.

In my journey from alcoholism to sobriety I have found a few things that have helped me in my recovery period.  I have learned certain Ways to Live a Sober Life.

First, when you have finally admitted to yourself that you do have a alcohol addiction and you are willing to surrender to your demons, is when you will start to see a difference in your life as I did.

It will not happen overnight, but in time you will see how the world looks when being sober and what you have been missing all the years of drinking alcohol.

One of the things that really helped me to become sober was that I was so mad at myself to allow this addiction to run and ruin my life that I created such a anger in my mind towards my demons. By creating this huge hatred in my mind towards my demons would be the same as someone hating another person so bad that they would not ever in their lives associate with them again.

This is how I feel towards my past friends, my demons.  However this may seen to some, like how would creating this hatred help in achieving sobriety?  The answer that I have with my own experiences, is that when you are so low in life or even close to hitting rock bottom I know that by getting these huge feeling of hatred I will case my demons away.

I made my mind up to surrender and quit drinking alcohol and start and new life, which I am so happy I did.

I keep myself always busy throughout the day, not leaving any open time to think about the addiction I once had.

I have never hated anyone in my life, but with the method I created for myself regarding hating my demons, certainly helped me to live my life in Sobriety once again.

From the very start of my life change, I made my mind up to always keep a Positive Attitude in everything I do.  This too has helped with my journey to sobriety.  Everyone needs to Think Positive, with never any Negative thoughts in mind.  By doing so you will see how things start to turn around for the better in your lives.

Helping Alcoholics

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Helping alcoholics isn’t easy.

The main reason for this is that most alcoholics are slowly self-destructing.  They know this is happening but they are powerless to stop it.  They are trapped in a cycle.

If you’re the friend or a loved one of an alcoholic, then you’ve probably tried all sorts of different things to get them to quit drinking.  Here’s a quick summary of what doesn’t work:

1) Pleading with them to stop

2) Threatening them in any way

3) Trying to manipulate them into quitting

4) Shaming them

5) Screaming at them or getting angry with them

And so on.  None of these things work at all to help the alcoholic or get them closer to quitting drinking.

So how can we help them?

It boils down to a few strategies on your part.  Most of it is indirect stuff, but it is still important in the long run.  Here are some of the key components:

1) Stop enabling them.

2) Set healthy limits and boundaries.

3) Ignore their drinking episodes in order to force them to look at themselves.

4) Allow them to decide to quit for themselves instead of trying to force the decision.

Want to know more?  Here is the full scoop on how you can help an alcoholic.

Life Coaching and How it Can Help You in Recovery

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Life coaching is a controversial topic when it comes to recovery.  Some people argue that a life coach is not a true professional, and is essentially acting like a “paid sponsor.”

These criticisms are unfounded based on what a life coach actually does for you.

The purpose of the life coach is not to give professional advice or even necessarily therapeutic counseling.  Instead, the life coach is there to unlock your creative potential from within and challenge you to rise to your full potential.

A life coach is not someone who walks you through detox.  In fact, the life coach isn’t really all that helpful for stage one recovery at all (when you are first getting clean and sober).  Instead, the life coach can really be beneficial to you when you are entering stage 2 recovery (when you are living holistic principles in long term recovery).

In essence, the life coach is most useful in helping you to make the transition into long term sobriety.  Their role is to push you to pursue personal growth on a number of different levels and to make genuine growth and progress in your recovery.

Life coaching is different from sponsorship in that sponsorship is basically restricted to spiritual growth, whereas life coaching takes a much broader approach in pushing for growth in a variety of areas.  In this way life coaching can be a very powerful tool for recovery.

A sponsor gets you sober, but a life coach keeps you sober.

Go here if you are interested in a free session with a reputable recovery life coach.  Keith is an excellent life coach and he specializes in addiction and recovery.

New Book – Recovering Me, Discovering Joy

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I just found a unique author with a good recovery book that seems to mirror a lot of my ideas about recovery.  Vivian talks about recovery from a real-world, practical standpoint and also incorporates overcoming depression and anxiety into her recovery efforts, something that I think a lot of addicts and alcoholics struggle with.

Vivian also focuses on practicing gratitude as part of a positive attitude in recovery.  This is very much in line with my personal philosophy of recovery as well.  I think eventually the question becomes for anyone in recovery: “OK, now how am I going to live a sober life?”

Eventually we move beyond that first stage of recovery where we are shocked just to be off the drugs and the booze.  We have to branch out and start growing in new directions and find a new life in recovery.  I think this is where my philosophy probably overlaps with Vivian’s.  We both push for a holistic and spiritual approach to long term recovery.

Vivian also has a free report that you can download instantly that has some good information about recovery and how to help struggling alcoholics as well.  You can check that out along with her recovery book right here.

Helping Drug Addicts Overcome Addiction

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Drug addicts overcome addiction through a process.

It starts back when they are still using drugs heavily, and their life is out of control.  The first hint of breaking through their denial starts tickling their brain.  Sometimes this takes decades of heavy abuse before someone reaches this point.

Eventually a moment of surrender is reached.  The addict throws in the towel and decides to give life another chance.  Now it is my belief that if this moment of surrender is real, that will basically be the end of their drinking and drugging.  In other words, the reason that people relapse with this disease is because they were not ready to quit drinking and drugging in the first place.

That’s why they call it “hitting bottom.”  It is a moment of finality; a complete and total surrender.  The addict is completely beaten.

Until they get to this point, you could never possibly list enough reasons to quit drinking, nor could you convince them that there is a wonderful life outside of drug addiction.  They simply won’t hear you, nor will they believe you.  That’s because they are trapped in denial….stuck on the hamster wheel, so to speak.  They can’t picture their life without drugs and alcohol.  Nor do they want to.  It’s just too scary.

How we can help people break through denial

Since I got clean and sober, I have been constantly seeking better information about how to help a drug addict.  I happen to work in a treatment center with a detox unit, and so I have definitely had a lot of practice at trying to help them, as I have helped to treat literally thousands of drug addicts over the past 4 years.  And let me tell you: it’s not easy.

One of the best ways to help an addict, believe it or not, is to <em>not</em> help them.  Or to be more specific, not enable them.  This means not helping them to get more drugs or alcohol or helping them avoid the natural consequences of their using.  In other words, you might have to let them fall on their face a bit in order to really “help” them.

Remember what the key is to overcoming addiction: that magical moment of surrender.  Without it, the addict is merely playing games…they might stay clean for a short while, but unless they have experienced utter devastation and truly surrendered with their whole being, they are not going to stay clean and sober.  So get out of their way and let them find their bottom, hard as that might be.  You might just be saving their life.

Also, be sure to check out this new recovering blogger on the scene, the recovery princess.  She is detailing her journey through sobriety; looks like good stuff. 

Overcoming Addiction with Your Spiritual Self

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How does spirituality affect our recovery?

Spirituality is the overall principle that can tie all of our recovery efforts together.  It is our attitude-shaper.

If we can connect with a higher power each day in a meaningful way, then our recovery will benefit because of it.  We can do this in a couple of general ways.  Keep in mind that you don’t have to stick to “old ideas” that you might have about what constitutes “spirituality.”  Instead, find your own path by trying the following:

1) Pray. If you don’t believe in prayer, you can always just focus on thoughts of gratitude for a while.

2) Meditate. Find your sanctuary and enjoy some peace and quiet time.  Sit in the stillness with your eyes closed and watch your mind.  Observe.  Don’t judge your thoughts and let them come as they will.

3) Connect with others by trying to help them and empower them.  In other words, don’t enable people, but genuinely help them to help themselves.  Bonus points if the person happens to be in recovery and you are helping them overcome addiction.

4) Be mindful throughout your day.  Watch your mind and your own reactions.  Be observant about how you are reacting to things.  Strive for peace and serenity.

5) Let go of dogma that rules your concept of spirituality and find your own spiritual self.  Notice what works and what brings peace into your life. Recovery is about finding a practical spirituality that works for you.

Focus on the Important Stuff in Early Recovery

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It’s important to focus on the important stuff in early recovery.

Sometimes we can get so overwhelmed with all sorts of different suggestions, that it can be difficult to prioritize in early recovery.

For example, you might get clean and sober and attend an AA or NA meeting.  There, you will most likely hear a LOT of suggestions for how to stay clean and work a proper recovery.

Some of the suggestions seem like they are conflicting though.  Everyone is genuinely trying to help you, and give you some good direction, but it can become overwhelming.  At the same time, one of their suggestions is to “keep it simple,” and another suggestion is “Easy does it.”  These phrases seem contradictory in the face of a complex program with dozens of suggested actions for you to take.  You might hear things like:

“Get a sponsor and call them every day for the first 30 days.”

“Start writing in the steps.”

“Get some recovery literature and read it every day.”

“Go to 90 meetings in 90 days and don’t use in between.”

And so on.  These suggestions are just the tip of the iceberg, there are actually a lot more out there!  So how can we know exactly what we should be focusing on?  We need to find a way to prioritize.

<h3>The solution: focus on what is truly important</h3>

What you might want to do is sit down and figure out what is most important for YOU in YOUR recovery.

This will be a bit different for each person.  Then, write down the single most important thing for your recovery at the top of a sheet of paper.  When I did this exercise, I wrote down:

“Physical abstinence.”

That was the most important thing for my recovery today–to not pick up a drink or a drug.  That is number one for me.

Then, figure out what the second most important thing is for you.  For me, this happened to be “spiritual connection.”  So I try to do a few things each day to focus on this spiritual connection with my higher power, and thus cultivate that relationship.

You can keep going down the list and adding things in order of importance.  Some people might have “sponsorship” at the top of their list, whereas for me, that was down near the bottom (not so important).  It all depends on what you need to help YOU stay clean and sober.

For more information on this, you might want to check out how you should focus on your recovery.

Are Luxury Treatment Centers the Answer?

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A good question was posed as to whether or not California treatment centers offer any better odds of recovery based on the fact that they are basically luxury resorts.

One argument says that luxury treatment centers must certianly offer some advantages, simply due to the fact that you are dealing with more money, so that can offer a lot of solutions.  While money might not be able to fix anything and everything, here are some things that it can buy:

1) Longer stays at treatment

2) More one-on-one time with therapists or counselors

3) More specialized and individualized treatment

4) Wider treatment options, can accompany different modalities/philosophies

5) Better, and more comprehensive medical care at treatment centers

The question then, is this: do we really need a luxury treatment center in order to have these things?  Can we not incorporate these ideas into “traditional” treatment centers, without having costs spiral out of control?

What can we learn from luxury treatment centers?

Best Reasons to Quit Drinking

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What are the best reasons to quit drinking?

First, if you happen to be an alcoholic, then you don’t need a list of reasons to quit.  Your whole life is dominated and basically ruined because of alcohol, and the decision no longer hinges on “why” you should quit…it only hinges on the struggle to do so.

But what about the so called “problem drinker,” someone who is not yet a full blown alcoholic, but certainly might be headed down that path?  Is there a strong chance that they will become alcoholic?  Should they quit altogether?  Will they give up too much by swearing off booze forever?  Let’s take a look.

Many of those asking this question will undoubtedly be younger people, and this represents a huge opportunity.  You have a chance to make an awesome, life-altering decision here: the decision to quit drinking.

Maybe you are predisposed to alcoholism.  Maybe you’re not.  It doesn’t matter.  What happens down the road is not important, because you can avoid all the “what ifs” by simply quitting alcohol altogether.  There are a number of benefits to doing so:

1) Health reasons – heavy drinkers suffer major health problems and live an average of 10 to 15 years less (give or take a few) than non-drinkers.

2) Avoid addiction – if you don’t put the substance into your body then you can’t fall into the trap of addiction.  Avoid this potential problem completely.

3) Social acceptance – which is more socially acceptable: the person that doesn’t drink at all, or the one who gets belligerently drunk at the family reunion?  There is very little problem with politely saying “no” to alcohol.

4) Long term costs – Alcohol has no nutritional value, yet a regular drinker might spend several hundred or even thousands of dollars each year on booze.  Don’t drink = money saved.

Realize that there are some benefits to drinking (social value, possible benefit to the heart in having a small amount of wine each day, etc.) but those benefits are fairly negligible when weighed against the potential hazards of continuing to drink.  Like I mentioned earlier, it is not that big of a deal to turn down a drink when you are offered, or to simply have water or soda instead.

If you choose to quit now, you can avoid a lifetime problems.

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How to Tell if Someone Is a Drug Addict or Alcoholic

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How can you tell when someone is a drug addict or alcoholic?

Before we can tackle this question, we need to first differentiate between drug abuse and drug dependency. Abuse is generally considered any time that someone is taking drugs in a manner other than what they were prescribed. For example, if someone is doubling or tripling the dose on their pain medication, that would be considered abuse.

Drug dependency can be built up from legal long term medical use, such as when someone becomes physically addicted to sleeping medication and cannot sleep without it. Dependency is characterized by a few factors, one of which is usually a noticeable and physical withdrawal when the person doesn’t get the drug. Examples of this would be shaking from alcohol withdrawal or agitation and crankiness during nicotine withdrawal.

addicted to drugs
Photo by lanuiop

Full blown drug or alcohol addiction is generally understood to include dependency along with a psychological craving for the substance. There is an element of anticipation and preoccupation with getting and using the drugs or alcohol. Therefore, addiction is more than just a physical dependency. Unfortunately, if you ask someone about possible drug use–even if you ask in a loving and caring manner–is likely to produce either anger or a defensive response.

Determining whether or not someone is addicted, and also what their level of dependency is can be a complicated question. In order to best answer it, we need to break it down by situation:

Situation #1:

Let’s say that you already know that someone is legally using drugs or alcohol (such as with legally prescribed medications). The question is really about their level of dependency, or whether they are really addicted at all. Here’s what you can do to learn more about their condition:

* Being Over-Medicated – Anyone who gets loopy or giddy off of, say, pain medication, is probably abusing the drug. This might not necessarily be drug addiction or dependency. Properly medicated pain should not have a person floating on a cloud. There should be at least some hint of underlying pain remaining.

* A Potential Missed Dose - Watch for someone’s reaction when and if they are going to run out of their medications, or if they have to go without alcohol in a certain situation. If there is a hint of panic, or if the person resents the situation, then those are warning signs that there is either dependency or addiction.

* Signs of Preoccupation – Anyone who is preoccupied with the idea of getting or using more drugs and alcohol is probably leaning towards addiction and dependence and less towards simple drug abuse.

addicted to drugs
Photo by extranoise

Situation #2:

You suspect that someone is using an illegal substance and is trying to keep their habit a secret. You question whether or not they are abusing drugs (perhaps experimenting), or if they possibly have physical dependence and/or a full blown addiction. In this case, you’ll want to look for all of the warning signs already listed above in order to determine their level of dependence, but also consider:

* Evasive Behavior and Isolation – People using illegal substances will probably want to avoid you or others who might confront them about it. This leads to isolation and distancing themselves. Sometimes an addict is torn with the burden of not wanting to hurt their loved ones, but not knowing how to break free from the addiction either. Their avoiding you could be a sign. Also, if they refuse to commit to an extended stay with you, that might be a sign as well (such as a family vacation or a camping trip or something similar).

* Abrupt change in friends or social behavior – This one is especially true for younger people.

Situation #3:

You have no hard evidence that someone is using whatsoever, but you are suspicious that something might be going on. In this case, watch for everything suggested up to this point, and also watch out for:

* Signs of physical dependence – These will vary according to different substances, of course, but symptoms might include: moodiness, forgetfulness, changes in sleep patterns, dilated pupils, and so on.

addicted to drugs
Photo by multi_everything

What to Avoid

Trying to approach someone that you think might be addicted is a delicate task. You might have a tendency to try to be as sneaky as you can in an effort to play detective and find out what is really going on. But try not to be manipulative and sneaky, as this will only drive someone further away from you and put more distance between the two of you.