Tag Archives: Recovery

The Path of Least Resistance

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How does “The Path of Least Resistance,” by Robert Fritz, apply to recovery?

In a number of different ways. This book is pure magic for the recovering addict or alcoholic.

1) “You go through life taking the path of least resistance”

We can easily apply this principle to our drinking days or when we
were actively using drugs. Medicating ourselves with chemicals was
the quick fix; the instant gratification. For the addict mind, using
chemicals almost always represented the path of least resistance.
Fritz argues that if you try to make major life changes, chances are
good that you will eventually return to your original behavior — if
that behavior still represents the path of least resistance.

2) “The underlying structure of your life determines the path of least resistance”

This is huge. What this means is that if you quit using drugs and
alcohol, but the underlying structure of your life doesn’t change,
then you will return to your old ways.

3) “You can change the underlying structure of your life”

Recovery in action. When people refer to “doing the footwork” in
recovery, they are not talking about making superficial changes.
People who experience a genuine lasting recovery from addiction do so
through a complete change in personality; a true spiritual experience
that changes them from the inside out. Major changes, not superficial
ones. Fritz is arguing that you can indeed change the underlying
structure of your life. Recovering addicts and alcoholics who have
achieved long term sobriety have done exactly that.

When I finally got clean and sober, I did so by making truly major
changes to the underlying structure of my life. Here are some
examples of those structural changes:

1) Entered a long term treatment center and lived there for 20 months.

2) Started attending 12 step meetings every single day, sometimes 2 or
3 meetings per day.

3) Left all of my old drinking buddies, changed all of these unhealthy
associations permanently and completely

Those are major structural changes, especially living in long term
treatment–along with everything that doing so entails.

4) “You can learn to recognize these key structures”

We must increase our awareness and practice mindfulness. We can also
use our sponsor or our peers in recovery to help us see these
underlying structures.

5) “Attempting to use a psychological solution for a structural problem is not going to work”

This has huge implications for recovery. A psychologist might try to
solve your alcoholism through psychotherapy, and figuring out what
made you an alcoholic in the first place. Or, a therapist might try
some emotional therapy techniques with you, in an attempt to get you
to retrain how you react to situations. These are psychological
solutions.

But there is a mountain of evidence that points to addiction as being
a structural problem. This becomes especially true the longer someone
has been using drugs or alcohol. This is because their whole life
starts to revolve around the addiction. For example, an alcoholic
will tend to associate with other heavy drinkers, find friends and/or
a spouse who is codependent (and thus supports their drinking), and
generally set up their life so that it enables them to drink all the
time. Because addiction is a set of patterns, it really is a structural problem.
When the finally decide to quit drinking, all of these underlying structures that made
it easy to drink are still in place.

Structure and the Creative Process

Fritz says that it is easy to create with structure but difficult to
destroy or “take away.” So instead of asking “how can create a
structure in my life to get rid of my drinking problem,” the question
should really be phrased more along the lines of “how can I create an
underlying structure in my life that leads to spiritual growth?” The book
also talks about the difference between oscillating (moving towards a
goal and then sliding back) versus creating towards a resolution. The
idea is to find structures that lead to a resolution, instead of
finding ourselves trapped in oscillating structures that have us
making short progress followed by a few steps backwards (relapse).

The implications for recovery here are huge, and this is just chapter
1 out of 19 chapters!

You can also purchase this book right here if you’d like.

Misleading Relapse Rates in Treating Addiction

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We have all heard of the lousy relapse rates when it comes to treating addiction. But what about some of the success rates you hear about from various treatment programs or drug rehabs? Do these programs and rehabs really have the magic answer? Let’s take a look:

Keep in mind that sometimes the numbers are manipulated a bit, and a certain treatment method or a specific rehab might distort their numbers a bit. This occurs naturally as businesses want to look good and encourage more business, even if their particular method is not really all that successful at truly helping addicts and alcoholics.

How can success rates be manipulated for recovery?

One way is through the use of discounting those who relapse or fail through some line of reasoning. For example, a treatment center might do a follow up survey and ask all of the respondents if they were still clean and sober after, say, 6 months time. Many will say that they have relapsed, and the percentage of success will not look so great. So in order to improve that rate, the questionnaire might ask if they followed through explicitly with all of their aftercare recommendations (such as attending long term treatment, going to intensive outpatient groups, or attending 12 step meetings every day). If the person has not explicitly followed their drug addiction therapy (a highly likely scenario), then the survey results discounts this “relapse” from their results because the person did not technically follow through with their treatment program.

Another way that relapse rates are misrepresented is with the whole drug-of-choice argument. Say a person is addicted to crack and they go to treatment and they manage to stay off the crack when they are released and might even attend an NA meeting or two. In follow up surveys, they correctly proclaim that they have in fact abstained from their drug of choice, while in the meantime, they have started drinking heavily in order to self-medicate over the lack of their “real” drug of choice. Under such a survey system, this type of person gets counted as a success story, when in fact, they are simply switching one drug for another and are likely no better off then when they started.

A third way that relapse rates are manipulated is due to the creative use of time frame. An example of this would be to show how your treatment center might have a really high success rate at getting addicts clean and sober for at least 30 days. This seems remarkable at first, until you realize that this particular treatment center is a 28 day inpatient program in a strictly controlled environment. Basing the success rate on 6 months or years clean time would be much more useful, but obviously not as compelling when it comes to marketing purposes.

Action items – what you can do:

1) Don’t pin your hopes on a number. Success in recovery is not magic, and there are not short cuts. It takes work and dedication to achieve long term sobriety.

2) Don’t limit yourself to a single treatment philosophy. There are different methods and programs for staying clean and sober, and the choice of which one you use is far less important than what any single person will tell you. Why? Because everyone thinks that the method they used to get sober is the only true way that works. Simply not true. Which program you choose is almost irrelevant. What matters is your conviction to stay sober and your level of willingness.

Treating Addiction – Why are Treatment Centers so Expensive?

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Treating addiction is expensive. Period.

Actually staying in a drug rehab costs a lot of money, simply because it is essentially a health care facility similar to hospital. If the rehab offers detoxification services (and most do) then these will be medically supervised by nurses and possibly even doctors which will only add to the higher cost.

But the high cost of treating addiction goes further than this. It’s expensive to treat because addiction is so complicated.

For example, many addicts and alcoholics have co-occurring disorders–a mental illness diagnosis of some sort along side of their chemical addiction. Helping this type of person to recover from addiction will usually involve treating their mental illness as well. This drives the cost of treatment up even further, as psychiatric counseling and any necessary medications are not going to come cheap.

Not only is it expensive, but the financial implications with treating addiction and alcoholism are getting worse in the following ways:

1) Treatment services are becoming more expensive – as the cost of health care in general continues to rise.

2) Insurance companies become less and less willing each year to pay the cost of treatment.

3) Insurance companies are only willing to fund shorter treatment stays, which are proving less effective, requiring more visits in the future and ultimately costing more.

4) State funding for treatment is gradually being reduced over time.

You have to give credit to AA and 12 step fellowships. While they may not have the medical facilities necessary to safely detox an alcoholic, many people have skipped going to formal treatment centers entirely and made their way to a successful sobriety through the use of AA alone. Given that it is essentially “free” (self supporting through their own contributions), a person could feasible stay clean and sober without ever spending a single dime on their recovery, simply through the use of meetings.

What makes this even more maddening is that the success rates are very close when comparing treatment centers to AA. When looking at the success and failures in recovery, it almost seems like the initial stay in rehab was inconsequential. Long term sobriety rates point to the fact that it really doesn’t matter how you got clean, it matters how you stay clean. Rehab is short term, but sobriety has to last for a lifetime.

Best Reasons to Quit Drinking

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What are the best reasons to quit drinking?

First, if you happen to be an alcoholic, then you don’t need a list of reasons to quit.  Your whole life is dominated and basically ruined because of alcohol, and the decision no longer hinges on “why” you should quit…it only hinges on the struggle to do so.

But what about the so called “problem drinker,” someone who is not yet a full blown alcoholic, but certainly might be headed down that path?  Is there a strong chance that they will become alcoholic?  Should they quit altogether?  Will they give up too much by swearing off booze forever?  Let’s take a look.

Many of those asking this question will undoubtedly be younger people, and this represents a huge opportunity.  You have a chance to make an awesome, life-altering decision here: the decision to quit drinking.

Maybe you are predisposed to alcoholism.  Maybe you’re not.  It doesn’t matter.  What happens down the road is not important, because you can avoid all the “what ifs” by simply quitting alcohol altogether.  There are a number of benefits to doing so:

1) Health reasons – heavy drinkers suffer major health problems and live an average of 10 to 15 years less (give or take a few) than non-drinkers.

2) Avoid addiction – if you don’t put the substance into your body then you can’t fall into the trap of addiction.  Avoid this potential problem completely.

3) Social acceptance – which is more socially acceptable: the person that doesn’t drink at all, or the one who gets belligerently drunk at the family reunion?  There is very little problem with politely saying “no” to alcohol.

4) Long term costs – Alcohol has no nutritional value, yet a regular drinker might spend several hundred or even thousands of dollars each year on booze.  Don’t drink = money saved.

Realize that there are some benefits to drinking (social value, possible benefit to the heart in having a small amount of wine each day, etc.) but those benefits are fairly negligible when weighed against the potential hazards of continuing to drink.  Like I mentioned earlier, it is not that big of a deal to turn down a drink when you are offered, or to simply have water or soda instead.

If you choose to quit now, you can avoid a lifetime problems.

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How to Tell if Someone Is a Drug Addict or Alcoholic

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How can you tell when someone is a drug addict or alcoholic?

Before we can tackle this question, we need to first differentiate between drug abuse and drug dependency. Abuse is generally considered any time that someone is taking drugs in a manner other than what they were prescribed. For example, if someone is doubling or tripling the dose on their pain medication, that would be considered abuse.

Drug dependency can be built up from legal long term medical use, such as when someone becomes physically addicted to sleeping medication and cannot sleep without it. Dependency is characterized by a few factors, one of which is usually a noticeable and physical withdrawal when the person doesn’t get the drug. Examples of this would be shaking from alcohol withdrawal or agitation and crankiness during nicotine withdrawal.

addicted to drugs
Photo by lanuiop

Full blown drug or alcohol addiction is generally understood to include dependency along with a psychological craving for the substance. There is an element of anticipation and preoccupation with getting and using the drugs or alcohol. Therefore, addiction is more than just a physical dependency. Unfortunately, if you ask someone about possible drug use–even if you ask in a loving and caring manner–is likely to produce either anger or a defensive response.

Determining whether or not someone is addicted, and also what their level of dependency is can be a complicated question. In order to best answer it, we need to break it down by situation:

Situation #1:

Let’s say that you already know that someone is legally using drugs or alcohol (such as with legally prescribed medications). The question is really about their level of dependency, or whether they are really addicted at all. Here’s what you can do to learn more about their condition:

* Being Over-Medicated – Anyone who gets loopy or giddy off of, say, pain medication, is probably abusing the drug. This might not necessarily be drug addiction or dependency. Properly medicated pain should not have a person floating on a cloud. There should be at least some hint of underlying pain remaining.

* A Potential Missed Dose - Watch for someone’s reaction when and if they are going to run out of their medications, or if they have to go without alcohol in a certain situation. If there is a hint of panic, or if the person resents the situation, then those are warning signs that there is either dependency or addiction.

* Signs of Preoccupation – Anyone who is preoccupied with the idea of getting or using more drugs and alcohol is probably leaning towards addiction and dependence and less towards simple drug abuse.

addicted to drugs
Photo by extranoise

Situation #2:

You suspect that someone is using an illegal substance and is trying to keep their habit a secret. You question whether or not they are abusing drugs (perhaps experimenting), or if they possibly have physical dependence and/or a full blown addiction. In this case, you’ll want to look for all of the warning signs already listed above in order to determine their level of dependence, but also consider:

* Evasive Behavior and Isolation – People using illegal substances will probably want to avoid you or others who might confront them about it. This leads to isolation and distancing themselves. Sometimes an addict is torn with the burden of not wanting to hurt their loved ones, but not knowing how to break free from the addiction either. Their avoiding you could be a sign. Also, if they refuse to commit to an extended stay with you, that might be a sign as well (such as a family vacation or a camping trip or something similar).

* Abrupt change in friends or social behavior – This one is especially true for younger people.

Situation #3:

You have no hard evidence that someone is using whatsoever, but you are suspicious that something might be going on. In this case, watch for everything suggested up to this point, and also watch out for:

* Signs of physical dependence – These will vary according to different substances, of course, but symptoms might include: moodiness, forgetfulness, changes in sleep patterns, dilated pupils, and so on.

addicted to drugs
Photo by multi_everything

What to Avoid

Trying to approach someone that you think might be addicted is a delicate task. You might have a tendency to try to be as sneaky as you can in an effort to play detective and find out what is really going on. But try not to be manipulative and sneaky, as this will only drive someone further away from you and put more distance between the two of you.

The Role of Spirituality in Recovery

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What role does spirituality play in overcoming addiction?

spirituality
Photo by HaPe_Gera

Regardless of how you manage to find recovery, you do so via spiritual means. This doesn’t necessarily indicate a religious conversion.

A more accurate description would be a personality conversion. Some addicts might get clean through a 12 step program, others might find help in counseling, therapy, religion, or through long term programs. The means and methods by which addicts get clean and stay clean over the long run might vary, but they all share a common thread: they change an addict from the inside out.

As mentioned previously on Reading Addiction, the terms “spiritual” and “spirituality” are vague and fairly useless by themselves. They might bring to mind images of prayer, meditation, nature, and so on. But in terms of overcoming addiction, the spiritual experience is defined by a complete change in personality.

Defining the spiritual experience

A drug addict or alcoholic who is still using has a strong tendency towards self-centeredness. Their goal is to self-medicate, and they continue to justify and rationalize their need to do so. It is all about them.

In recovery, if an addict is to find long term sobriety, a shift will be made. They go from this self-centered, obsessive thinking, to genuine concern for other people. Relationships become meaningful again.

It is not so much that “spirituality plays a role in overcoming addiction.” Instead, overcoming addiction leads to a spiritual life. Another way of saying this is “bring your body and your mind will follow.” A similar saying heard in 12 step meetings is: “You can’t think your way into good living, you have to live your way into good thinking.”

So the question “What role does spirituality play in overcoming addiction?” is somewhat flawed to begin with. The real question is: how does one go from being a self-centered drug addict or alcoholic to living a spiritual life in recovery? You might also want to ask yourself:

1) Can an addict choose to have a spiritual experience?

2) How can an addict transform their life?

3) How can I live a more spiritual life?

4) How can I manage my life?

How to Overcome Addiction Using the Ultimate Replacement Strategy

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Overcoming addiction can be baffling without a replacement strategy.

overcoming addictions
Photo by Kyle May

What does this mean? A replacement strategy is actually a creation strategy.

For example, consider a list of common goals that people might strive for in their lives:

Lose Weight

Get out of debt

Quit smoking

Notice that all of these are negatives. People are trying to take something away from their lives. They are trying to create a negative. Now this might be a little nit-picky here, perhaps we are just playing with words a bit, but it probably makes a big difference–especially when it comes to your attitude.

Here is the big revelation: it is impossible to quit anything. Instead, you must replace it. With what? With some sort of creative energy.

For example, people don’t actually lose weight. Instead, they might change their eating habits, and start exercising on a regular basis, and weight does disappear eventually. But to say that they lost the weight is inaccurate, and also not very useful. Instead, they created positive replacement habits. They started living healthier.

Replacement strategies (or creation strategies) are powerful things. This is because they can have a multiplying effect on your progress. Let’s look deeper:

Say you want to lose weight. So, using traditional thinking, you might “eliminate 300 calories per day,” or do the same thing with a certain number of fat grams. You might also mandate a certain number of exercise sessions each week. This strategy will probably make for a long, slow road. Why? Because progress will be incremental at best.

How would a replacement strategy work in this case? The idea is to replace your bad habits with good ones, not just to simply eliminate the bad. So you would replace your least healthiest snacks each week with food that is actually good for you. You could do the same with exercise, and find your least active days, and push yourself to exercise the heaviest on those days that used to be the slowest for you.

Not only are you replacing the bad habits with good ones, you are doing so by applying the 80/20 rule. Target the absolute worst parts of your routine and completely flip them into a positive. Don’t get overwhelmed by trying to change every little thing that is bad in your life–start with the really bad stuff that needs changing and apply overwhelming force to turn it into a positive. That’s using the power of the 80/20 rule! It gets results fast while multiplying your efforts.

How does this apply to recovery?

When it comes to overcoming drug and alcohol addiction, simply abstaining is probably not going to work out for most people in the long run. Doing so creates a miserable life, unless you can incorporate some sort of recovery program.

Now consider the fact that most recovery programs are actually creation and replacement strategies. The question you need to ask yourself is this: how entangled has my life become with drugs and alcohol? Does every waking moment revolve around drinking and/or using drugs, thinking about using and drinking, figuring out ways to get the money so that I can continue to use more, and so on? The extent to which you are obsessed with drugs and alcohol is the extent to which you need a replacement strategy.

My whole life revolved around staying drunk and high on drugs. That was all I cared about. Therefore, consider the replacement strategy that finally worked for me: living for 20 months in long term treatment. Daily meeting attendance. Completely severing all ties with old drinking buddies and associating daily with new and sober friends in recovery. That was my replacement strategy.

Notice that all of those things are an act of creation. They are all positive things that required action on my part, instead of inaction (such as not drinking, or not going to the bars, etc.)

Does this mean that every addict needs long term treatment to overcome addiction? Not necessarily. But you should consider your plan for recovery as a plan of creation. You are not simply “quitting drugs.” What are you going to create in your life, and build up in your life that is positive? This is one reason that 12 step meetings are so powerful. Involving yourself in them every day becomes a powerful creation strategy.

What is your plan for recovery? What positive changes are going to become the centerpiece of your life? Are these changes enough to replace your obsession with drugs and alcohol?

Check back next week for a deeper analysis of what role spirituality plays in your replacement strategy for recovery.

The Illusion of Safety

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margin of error
Photo by _gee_

My friend Trent over at the Simple Dollar website just reviewed a book called “Margin.” It’s a personal development book that explores typical problems that people have, how creating margin can fix those problems, and what the outcome of doing so is:

Lack of time — create time margin — enjoy more free time — less stress, etc.

Money problems — create financial margin — emergency fund — less stress, etc.

Physical health — create fitness margin — exercise, eat healthier — less health problems.

Emotional health — create margin — cultivate meaningful relationships and mend broken ones — less emotional turmoil.

This is an awesome concept, and a great way of framing things in your mind. One word that comes to mind is “cushion.” The goal is to take each area in your life and create some degree of cushion. This is obvious with money–simply build up a savings account for an emergency fund, and the money will be there when you are in a crunch, greatly reducing the stress of the situation. The idea of using margin to create time-freedom is also an interesting way to alleviate stress. Instead of a hectic, rat-race of a chaotic life, the goal is to create enough leisure time to do the things you really want to do, without having to sell your soul into slave wages for the rest of your life.

So you get the idea: margin is “cushion.” Creating margin gives you breathing room.

But now here is the million dollar question:

How does the concept of margin relate to recovery from addiction?

Here’s how: You don’t get a margin in recovery. Why not? Because you can’t “bank” your sobriety. It doesn’t accumulate in the same way as, say, your educational efforts do. Someone with 20 years of education has accumulated a certain amount of knowledge, and taking a few years break will allow that person to retain almost all of that knowledge.

Recovery is different. Someone with 20 years of solid sobriety is 5 seconds away from picking up a drink. Relapse can potentially happen at any moment. And if it does, it absolutely destroys 20 years of sobriety in an instant. In fact, alcoholism still seems to progress even during long periods of abstinence. People who relapse  repeatedly say that they actually “picked up right where they left off,” and then got a little bit worse.

Margin in recovery: merely an illusion

Most of us are familiar with the concept of margin, even if we don’t think about it much. For example, we all know that we have financial margin if we’ve saved up a lot of money in our savings account. But in recovery, we only have the illusion of margin. There is no margin because recovery is an on-going, creative process. We have to keep creating a positive life for ourselves as we continue on in our recovery. Continuous effort. That is the only defense against relapse–constant progress and vigilance.

Your 20 years of sobriety doesn’t buy you any extra margin….you still have to make it through today–all day!–without taking a single drink.

So remember: in recovery, you don’t get a margin. You have to keep striving each and every day.

Ask yourself: Am I still pushing myself in recovery, or have I become complacent? There is no margin.

How to Prioritize as you Progress through Recovery

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Beating Addiction – How can we best prioritize in recovery?

priorities in recovery
Photo by John Edwards 2008

This the fifth part in a series about beating addiction. The first 4 parts were:

1. The secret of overcoming addiction and alcoholism

2. Transforming your life with a spiritual experience

3. Staying plugged in to recovery

4. Common stumbling blocks that might lead to relapse

The newcomer can become absolutely overwhelmed in early recovery. Getting clean and sober is a monumental task. They say that the only thing you have to change in early sobriety is “everything.”

If your recovery solution is the twelve step fellowship of AA or NA, then you are going to experience information overload when you first get clean and sober. There are so many suggestions, so many different things to do, and so many important things to focus on in early recovery. The people at the meetings will tell you that “it’s simple.”

It is not simple. Do not believe them. “Simple” would be a one step program that states not to pick up a drink or a drug each day–period. That would be simple. But the program consists of 12 steps, abstinence from drugs and alcohol is implied, and there are also a ton of other suggestions being thrown at you as well. “90 meetings in 90 days.” “Get a sponsor.” “Get phone numbers.” I went through this initiation phase myself, and I can assure you, it is overwhelming. There’s no doubt about it. This is not to say, however, that 12 step programs are bad and that you should avoid them–that’s not the case at all. They do offer a tremendous amount of concentrated support. But there is a real need to prioritize in early recovery, because without doing so, the monumental task ahead of you becomes overwhelming.

How to Prioritize:

1) The first 2 weeks clean:

Any addict who has been through early recovery knows that the very beginning can be excruciatingly difficult. Therefore, your only priority at this point should be physical abstinence from the drug. This implies a huge amount of things in your life that will not be a priority for a while–things like work, school, family, and so on. Ideally, spending this time in a controlled facility, such as a drug or alcohol treatment center, would be the best route for most addicts to follow. For the first 2 weeks, the focus should be solely on not using chemicals and the formation of a basic recovery plan. The benefit of rehab is that it can help you with both of these things. Look for a controlled environment to help you in the beginning.

Spiritual priority: Stay open minded and willing. If you are inclined to, start with the prayer and meditation. But the critical thing is to stay open to new ideas that might help you in recovery at this point.

2) Up to 90 days clean:

This is the initial phase of recovery, when you want to fully immerse yourself in some type of support system. For most people, that will probably mean attending lots of 12 step meetings, such as AA or NA meetings. For others, long term treatment might be appropriate. The key to success in this early stage is overwhelming force. Completely immerse yourself in whatever recovery program you choose. The raw statistics do not look pretty for this range of clean time (zero to 90 days), so you really need to put some effort in here.

Spiritual priority: Open up to the possibility that a spiritual experience can happen for you and change your life. Focus on turning your will over to a higher power, and letting things go that are beyond your control. Start appreciating the serenity you get when you stop trying to control everything.


Photo by Redvers

3) 6 months to 1 year clean:

This should be a huge growth period for anyone in recovery. You should be transitioning from “staying clean each day” to “living a full life of recovery.” Instead of focusing on the negative (don’t drink or do drugs), you should have replaced that mantra with positive activities, such as chairing AA meetings, socializing with others in recovery, sponsorship, spending quality time with sober friends and family, and so on. In other words, this is a return to real life. At some point, it has to stop being just about not doing drugs and alcohol and you have to start living again!

Spiritual priority: Gratitude is powerful stuff–it is the Kryptonite that can protect you from getting a case of that one-year-anniversary-relapse syndrome. If you are truly grateful for your recovery, then it is a good chance you will hang on to it. There is a ton of information out there for helping you to cultivate gratitude.

4) One year clean and beyond:

This is when “real life” became a priority for me again: pursuing a relationship, going back to college, finding a better job, and so on. The idea was that once I gained a firm grip on recovery, it was time to start focusing on personal growth in other areas as well. Remember, everything is spiritual, from jogging to playing with your niece in the park to taking a college entrance exam.

Spiritual priority: Help others. Period. If you can help other recovering addicts, that is even better. Nothing works more effectively than working with others for helping (me) to stay clean and sober.

Just for today, what is your priority for recovery? What are you focusing on in order to gain a better life?

Ask yourself: “Am I progressing?”

Common Stumbling Blocks in Recovery that can lead you to Relapse

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Beating Addiction – How to overcome common stumbling blocks in recovery

stumbling blocks in recovery
Photo by Bibi

This the fourth part in a series about beating addiction. The first 3 parts were:

1. The secret of overcoming addiction and alcoholism.

2. Transforming your life with a spiritual experience.

3. Staying Plugged in to Recovery

In this post, I’ll be outlining some of the major stumbling blocks that people experience in trying to beat addiction, and how you can overcome them.

Common Block # 1: Denial

Denial operates on 2 levels: First, denial keeps us from even getting our foot in the door when it comes to recovery. This refers to the addict or alcoholic who continues to use and refuses to admit that they have a problem. But the other, more insidious form of denial can attack us at any time, even after we’ve been clean and sober for years. Even in recovery, we can still get stuck in denial regarding different areas of our lives. An example of this is when our peers see us doing something that they see as destructive or unhealthy, but we refuse to look at our behavior. This can be particularly tricky because this form of denial almost always involves relationships.

Solution: Stay open to helpful “criticism” from your peers in recovery. If one person tells you that you’re out of line, that’s one thing….but if a couple of people start telling you you’re out of line, then it’s time to stop and take a look at yourself. Stay open to this type of feedback. We might be defensive at first, but if you stop later and think about people’s criticism of you, then you can effectively grow in leaps and bounds by overcoming various levels of denial. Be willing to examine your own faults.

Common Block # 2: Underestimating the investment necessary to recover

Newcomers who have never tried to recover before almost always underestimate their addiction. This is huge. Beating addiction takes a tremendous commitment, and a seriously concentrated effort. I went to 3 treatment centers, and finally lived in long term treatment for almost 2 full years, before I finally “got it.”

Solution: Our life experience has conditioned us this way: we can achieve modest success in most of our ventures while only applying a modest effort. But this is not true in recovery. It takes a full commitment to a recovery program in order to achieve long term sobriety.

stumbling blocks in recovery
Photo by joemiranda

Common Block # 3: Resentments

Resentments have been dubbed the number one offender when it comes to relapse, via the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous–and for good reason. Letting anger stew and fester within your soul is a sure way to screw up your recovery. Resentments consume so much mental energy that you have nothing left with which to feel positive.

Solution: Practice forgiveness. If you’re angry at someone, try praying–for their well being. Bless them with all your heart. Also, practice gratitude, and integrate it into your daily life. Let anger and resentment slip away. Take joy in your own life, and stop living through the hatred of others. Let go.

Common Block # 4: Self pity

Self pity is one of my favorite character defects–I used to use it all the time. While it might feel comfortable to throw yourself a pity-party and play the victim role for awhile, it is extremely self-destructive. Why? Because self pity is dis-empowering, addictive, and cyclical. You feel sorry for yourself, then you do nothing to take positive action in your life, and then the cycle starts over again. Very unhealthy for recovering addicts or alcoholics.

Solution: Gratitude is the direct cure–it obliterates self pity and starts you on the path of positive thinking and action. If you are prone to self-pity, then you need to practice gratitude, every day, in order to recover. Make it a part of your life.

Common Block # 5: Laziness (lack of footwork)

This is the reason that many people can attend AA meetings every single day and still manage to relapse. It’s not just your support system–it’s how you change your life….from the inside out. Go back to block number 2 if you are struggling with this: it takes a mountain of effort to overcome a serious addiction. Period. You can’t just “think” your way sober, or read a bunch of literature and suddenly be “cured.”

Solution: Put in genuine effort and attack recovery like you life depends on it (it does). Use the principle of overwhelming force. Motivate yourself to take positive action.

Overcoming these blocks is important to a successful recovery. When I first got clean and sober, all I could do was focus on not picking up a drink or a drug. As I gained strength in my recovery, I started to set other goals that were not directly related to beating addiction. But it turns out that a lot of those accomplishments have played a huge role in my recovery. So how can we know what to focus on in recovery? How can we make the best choices that help us in our recovery? Check back next week for an article about how to prioritize your life in order to have a successful recovery.

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